The Professional Woman's Mentor

View Original

"As You Know"... Is Damaging Your Career...

“As you know...”

“As I mentioned…”

“As we discussed…” 

Really?!?!?

When an idea, recommendation, or direction starts with some version of these preambles, the person might as well come right out and say:

 “You haven’t been listening to my brilliance. I’m going to say it again…”

“I’m not telling the truth here, BUT I’m going to make it sound like I am…”

“I’m ohhhh sooooo much smarted than you are, so I’m going to say this very slowly…”

In addition to being rude, condescending, and self-aggrandizing… these phrases will pretty much guarantee that:

  1. People will shut down; they won’t hear your message… prompting a discussion at a later time that will likely begin with “As we discussed…” 

    And the circle continues…

  2. You’ll look like a pompous jerk. Not a great way to influence people. 

  3. Coworkers will nod their heads in agreement. Strategically decide not to share information you need to make solid decisions. Then, silently watch while you fail. 

OUCH!

So why do people use these damaging phrases in conversations, emails, and announcements? They believe these assertions make them appear:

  • Intelligent

  • Powerful

  • Superior

  • In Control

Ahhhh… No.

Be generous in your assessment of others.

Don’t make assumptions.

Focus on Connection.

Be a Leader.

Kindness and grace always win.

Every. Single. Time.